I'm Switching To Polyester

When I first saw this commercial I glanced up and thought, "Wow, I didn't know Katy Perry was this bad." I was corrected that this was, in fact, Zooey Deschanel. My heart broke just a little.

Not only is the singing not doing it for me, but the song itself is just all over the place. No way to get a hold on it.

But look, this isn't all her fault. The "Feel of Cotton" ads have always grated on me a bit. These new ones are no exception. Here's one I just saw tonight, starring someone called Jazmine Sullivan, I guess:

Guh. I'm notoriously picky when it comes to commercials. I hate most of them, love only a few, and will grudgingly admit when one hits me exactly how the advertisers planned. This is a garment ad that fits the latter category right here:

Silly, but hey, someone here can actually sing, the song makes sense, and there's people in fruit costumes. That's all I'm asking for from my television viewing experience.