Laterlosers.com

Travolta: Why?

Thu, 28 Jan 2010 08:21:09 CST

I just saw a trailer for the film From Paris With Love. This is not new... I've been seeing trailers and train ads for this movie for a while now. But this last one really got on my nerves. Why? Because Travolta's character, some sort of mega-asshole terrorism terrorist cool guy, talks about getting a Royale with Cheese.

"Reminding people you were in a good movie that foolishly revived your career will not help!"

No. No, Thank You.

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 21:57:12 CST

This is a straight up MF tragedy. I do not understand why this is allowed to exist, why someone thought this was a good idea, or why I'm not hunting down the producer of this song and strangling him/her in their sleep.

"Imogen... did you allow this? I hope not!"

So Many Buttons To Push

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 13:24:48 CDT

I just saw a trailer for the new movie called The Box, in which a couple wrestles with the idea of receiving a million dollars to push a button that will kill one person. I suppose there will be some sort of twist somewhere in the film, but the answer seems simple.

"Of course, press the button!"

Profiles In Awesome: Marvin Fequiere

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:14:18 CDT

So, if you watch ANTM, you'll have noticed a new ridiculous song that signifies "elimination" has been gracing your ears. That song it the aptly-named "Top Model" by Marvin Fequiere. Do you dare to hear more?

"Some people write music specifically for reality show eliminations!"

Kate Gosselin is full of sh*t... what else is new?

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:00:00 CDT

Ah, poor baby only has $50,000 a month to pay her bills...

With problems like that, who wouldn't get their hair cut like a wildebeest in some random lady's basement?

I hear Rio de Janeiro is really lovely in the summer.

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 10:30:00 CDT

The big news around here is Friday's IOC vote in Copenhagen to decide which city will be the host of the 2016 Olympic Games. The top contenders are Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and my home, Chicago, Illinois. Whether it makes sense to you or not, I'm whole-heartedly rooting for Rio...

The possibility of the Olympics coming to Chicago makes me nervous... Not "Sarah-Palin-nervous," but you get the picture...

I'm Switching To Polyester

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 21:47:11 CDT

I'm sorry, Zooey. I like you. But you cannot sing. I know, I know, you're married to an indie rocker. You want to be a part of that. Okay. But just... you are not a singer. Or, maybe try not singing out your nose?

Moreover, these new Cotton ads are blowful.

"Proximity to Ben Gibbard does not make you a singer!"

Parties For Jerks

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:35:23 CDT

Thanks to Scott, I was exposed to this horror of an infomercial that attempts to convince people to throw a launch party for Windows 7. Good lord, who makes these commercials? And more importantly, who sees a commercial like this and is persuaded to do anything but laugh derisively?

"I need to know, dammit!"

Best TV Is Back

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 05:00:23 CDT

Today is a good day. Season 4 of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia is out on DVD! You can bet that I'll be picking it up as soon as possible, as this is pretty much my favorite show on TV right now.

I mean, a group of despicable people do terrible things to each other, themselves, and others. What's not to like?

"There is nothing not to like!"

2009 VMAs: The Kanye is an Ass Show

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 11:45:33 CDT

Well, that was a waste of my time. Luckily I didn't watch it live, as I was out doing something productive and then eating sushi. But here, for your pleasure, are my random thoughts about MTV's ongoing assault on music: the Video Music Awards. Did you watch it? Do your eyes and ears still hurt?

"Do You Still Hate Kanye West?"

iPod Nano With Video: For Douches

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:45:38 CDT

iPod just announced the new Nano has a built in camera. This is a fantastic upgrade to the device, which felt relegated to a weird middle market in which people might want a screen, or a colored mp3 player, but really should be getting the Touch.

And what's the best way to show off the new video capabilities of the iPod Nano? Apparently you hand it off to a group of smug a-holes and let them show off.

"I do not like these people."

You Are Here For Some Reason

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 11:25:10 CDT

This is, of course, another Web site. You'd think by now the Internet was full, but you'd be wrong. It's okay, don't feel bad about it. In fact, I was like you once: presumptive, angry at the government for motivating my children to better themselves, waiting in terrible anticipation for the next remake of an Aaron Spelling show, with no outlet to vent my important opinion...